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joe lafferty ≡ menu home about instagram flickr terra firma joe lafferty april 11, 2018 boat on land in pittenweem, east neuk of fife terra firma i was made for for the ocean but they sought to tie me to land i roved free & brave strong men placed their feet and hope on me i conquered storm and swell i brought them home to where they belong the land many moons i sailed wild and free but finally, when broken and useless they tied me to terra firma and while i slowly rot i remember and long for the ocean joe lafferty 11/04/18 0 comments the antidote to narcissism? joe lafferty february 28, 2018 the antidote to narcissism? becoming an ethical leader (574 words: reading time just over 5 minutes) detail from doug aitkin video installation “inside you”, louisiana gallery, denmark 2002. narcissism has become part of everyday speech, and is often used pejoratively.‘he’s a narcissistic leader’ or ‘you’d expect that of her, she’s just narcissistic’ (tho interestingly, the term seems almost always to be applied to male not female leaders). we assume we understand narcissism, but it is a very complex concept. there are at least seven different ways narcissism is described just within the psychoanalytic community. a massively oversimplified application often comes as a judgement, not recognising that narcissism is something we can all succumb to. it’s not an either or, it is a continuum. at one end we have a person with narcissistic personality disorder, who may also be borderline psychopath. at the other end we have normal people who may react to some form of narcissistic wound. it seems that the current atmosphere within the public sphere encourages binary thinking, splitting off the bad in myself and projecting it onto others. the narcissistic wound is when i feel something core to my identity is being attacked. my sense of who i am. of course, this may be the ‘false self’ as winnicott describes it. nevertheless it feels real, and boy it feels like a wound. if i see the other as attacking, and i take up this offence, then it becomes impossible for me to empathise with them. now please understand me, i am not arguing that one should empathise with everyone. this could be dangerous. however nursing the narcissistic wound cuts me off from the possibility of empathy. so what is the antidote to my own narcissism and proclivity to a narcissistic wound? becoming an ethical leader. peter koestenbaum and joe lafferty in conversation my friend and mentor peter koestenbaum, describes this in beautiful simplicity in his leadership diamond ® model. a leader must keep two polarities in equilibrium to be successful. reality <-> vision and courage <-> ethics. right now, i’m focusing on ethics. the ethical leader is able to see beyond himself or herself. (s)he does not relate everything back to themselves. it is the opposite of narcissism. the ethical leader is willing to share the blame for failures, not just project blame onto others. the ethical leader is able to see things from the others point of view, and, critically feel something of what they feel. they also have a deep desire to understand others, and are willing to suspend judgement until they fully understand. the ethical leader does not use people as means towards an end. much of the epidemic of stress in todays workplace is because we have developed cultures in our organisations that use and abuse people to the detriment of their health and well being: so long as they keep delivering ‘results’. peter says that the ethical leader is a mentor and teacher. this is the desire to see others flourish and grow; taking practical steps to see the other develop, even if it takes them out of my organisation. mentoring and teaching demonstrates a high degree of commitment and loyalty to investing in another. employees are not ‘human resources’ but human beings. so, next time you see yourself as the victim, where you feel the narcissistic wound, rather than react, why not look to the experience as an opportunity to get out of yourself, empathise with the other, look for an opportunity to be of service, and step into a greater expression of ethical leadership. screenshot of peter koestenbaum leadership reflection, 26th february, 2018. 0 comments enhance your email productivity joe lafferty may 9, 2017 (200 words: read in just over 1 minute) many of us find email the bane of our lives. and we often have multiple accounts – for personal work and other roles. and we have multiple devices we use to access emails. this can result in real inefficiencies. reading emails multiple times, misfiling emails and finding it difficult to remember if we replied to this or that mail. enter airmail 3 for macos and airmail 1.1 for ios . a simple and elegant application that integrates across your mac, iphone and ipad. you can access g-suite, icloud and other mail providers in the same app, to show all or one account if you need to be focused. it is streets ahead of the bundled mac mail app. it’s slick, elegant and has much more under the hood for the power user. problems finding emails? i have a large amount of email and at times the mac search functionality fails, and i have to rebuild my mailbox. airmail3 has a superb, fast and robust search functionality. you can snooze emails, set reminders to let you know if you haven’t had a response. use gmail labels and so on. at last an email client that help you tame your email cross platform and at a reasonable price. for more see this great review by john voorhees 0 comments ‘oor democracy: act as if you own the place’ joe lafferty march 16, 2017 book here using eventbrite there is a lot going on in dundee. with the £1bn waterfront development, the coming of the v&a, the recent tay cities bid which is progressing nicely through both parliaments. all this has led to gq magazine calling dundee the uk’s coolest small city. emerging from a post-industrial past, the city, with two universities, world class science, a thriving computer games and it sector and a vibrant, growing creative sector, dundee feels like an exciting place to be. while there is a lot of good news, and many would give their right arm for these developments, like all of scotland’s cities, we are not without our challenges. on the broader stage, seismic political events over the past year have shown we have a crisis in democracy. while trump and brexit were not protest votes for all, there is no doubt it demonstrates just how disenchanted citizens are with political elites. seeing no difference between politicians from different parties, what is the point of voting. even the recent defeat of ukip in the stoke by election in england, while a relief, was on a 33% voter turnout. so what’s that got to do with an event in dundee? i’m a great believer in focusing on what i can influence. on things i can do something about. and while these big national and international issues may have significant impact on our economy. on our sense of who we are. on our ability to relate, work and trade with others. right now there is nothing i can do about them other than moan or get anxious. so, i want to focus on what is in my gift, our gift. on what i can do, what we can do, and consider what we want for our city. for dundee and its surroundings. that’s why i’m involved in this event. local democracy matters, and it’s not just about voting once every 4 or 5 years. on saturday 18th march, some of us will gather in the shore in dundee to talk about things that are important to us. things we can influence, things we want to see change. we will hear from speakers something of their stories where activism and engagement has made a difference to their local community. derek robertson from dundee university will tell the story on how he used the computer game minecraft to engage primary school pupils in purposeful and relevant learning about civic society. using minecraft these young people were able to reimagine, redesign and recreate what

URL analysis for joelafferty.com

https://www.joelafferty.com/tag/go-dundee/
https://www.joelafferty.com/tag/od/
https://www.joelafferty.com/2017/05/09/enhance-your-email-productivity/#commentform
https://www.joelafferty.com/tag/lifetree/
https://www.joelafferty.com/tag/music/
https://www.joelafferty.com/page/2/
https://www.joelafferty.com/tag/art/
https://www.joelafferty.com/tag/mindmap/
https://www.joelafferty.com/2015/09/11/getting-the-best-out-of-your-staff/
https://www.joelafferty.com/tag/transformation/
https://www.joelafferty.com/tag/inspiration/
https://www.joelafferty.com/tag/focus/
https://www.joelafferty.com/tag/coaching/
https://www.joelafferty.com/tag/conversation/
https://www.joelafferty.com/2018/02/28/the-antidote-to-narcissism-becoming-an-ethical-leader/#commentform
independent.co.uk
lifetree.co.uk
eventbrite.co.uk

Whois Information

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Domain Name: JOELAFFERTY.COM
Domain ID: 95283317_DOMAIN_COM-VRSN
Registrar WHOIS Server: whois.tucows.com
Registrar URL: http://tucowsdomains.com
Updated Date: 2017-01-27T11:36:42Z
Creation Date: 2003-02-26T11:20:09Z
Registrar Registration Expiration Date: 2018-02-26T11:20:09Z
Registrar: TUCOWS, INC.
Registrar IANA ID: 69
Registrar Abuse Contact Email: [email protected]
Registrar Abuse Contact Phone: +1.4165350123
Reseller: Fasthosts Internet Limited
Domain Status: clientTransferProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited
Domain Status: clientUpdateProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientUpdateProhibited
Registry Registrant ID:
Registrant Name: Joe Lafferty
Registrant Organization: Joe Lafferty
Registrant Street: 12 Scotswood Terrace
Registrant City: Dundee
Registrant State/Province: Angus
Registrant Postal Code: DD2 1PA
Registrant Country: GB
Registrant Phone: +44.1382505030
Registrant Phone Ext:
Registrant Fax:
Registrant Fax Ext:
Registrant Email: [email protected]
Registry Admin ID:
Admin Name: Rick Curran
Admin Organization: Rick Curran
Admin Street: Top Floor, Chamber Building, Panmure Street
Admin City: Dundee
Admin State/Province: Tayside
Admin Postal Code: DD1 1EP
Admin Country: GB
Admin Phone: +44.1382204764
Admin Phone Ext:
Admin Fax:
Admin Fax Ext:
Admin Email: [email protected]
Registry Tech ID:
Tech Name: Rick Curran
Tech Organization: Rick Curran
Tech Street: Top Floor, Chamber Building, Panmure Street
Tech City: Dundee
Tech State/Province: Tayside
Tech Postal Code: DD1 1EP
Tech Country: GB
Tech Phone: +44.1382204764
Tech Phone Ext:
Tech Fax:
Tech Fax Ext:
Tech Email: [email protected]
Name Server: DNS1.POINTHQ.COM
Name Server: DNS2.POINTHQ.COM
Name Server: DNS3.POINTHQ.COM
Name Server: DNS4.POINTHQ.COM
Name Server: DNS5.POINTHQ.COM
DNSSEC: unsigned
URL of the ICANN WHOIS Data Problem Reporting System: http://wdprs.internic.net/
>>> Last update of WHOIS database: 2017-01-27T11:36:42Z <<<

"For more information on Whois status codes, please visit https://icann.org/epp"

Registration Service Provider:
Fasthosts Internet Limited, [email protected]
+44.3330142700
http://www.Fasthosts.co.uk
http://facebook.com/fasthostsinternet

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  REGISTRAR TUCOWS DOMAINS INC.

  REFERRER http://www.tucowsdomains.com

SERVERS

  SERVER com.whois-servers.net

  ARGS domain =joelafferty.com

  PORT 43

  SERVER whois.tucows.com

  ARGS joelafferty.com

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  TYPE domain

DOMAIN

  NAME joelafferty.com

NSERVER

  DNS1.POINTHQ.COM 109.233.112.63

  DNS2.POINTHQ.COM 173.255.231.87

  DNS3.POINTHQ.COM 173.255.215.107

  DNS4.POINTHQ.COM 193.33.179.204

  DNS5.POINTHQ.COM 46.23.76.200

STATUS
clientTransferProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited
clientUpdateProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientUpdateProhibited

  CHANGED 2017-01-27

  CREATED 2003-02-26

  EXPIRES 2018-02-26

  REGISTERED yes

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